Normally, General Hospital star Maurice Benard (Sonny) uses his State of Mind YouTube series to interview his guests and bring awareness to mental health issues. But his most recent episode was just the actor detailing his recent issues with his own mental health.

“About a month ago, anxiety came knocking,” Benard revealed. “And of course, I couldn’t tell the triggers and a lot of that is my fault, not going to therapy like I should and like everyone should. Plus, I was playing a character on GH that is bipolar and off his medication. But I’m not gonna say that was the reason. That may have been a little bit of the reason. The main reason was that I started feeling anxiety and then my son and my wife went to Europe.”

With wife Paula and son Joshua on vacation, Benard was left at home to deal with his issues on his own. He did have help from daughters Cassidy and Cailey, and he was also able to rely on friends. Unfortunately, the various doctors that he saw were unable to give him any medications that helped, and he began to worry about just getting through the day.

“I knew that I had to go to work but I knew that I couldn’t go to work,” Benard admitted. “I want to say something about [GH executive producer] Frank Valentini. He was the most generous, compassionate person. Because you have to understand, I took two weeks off work. Two weeks. And he was nothing but incredible every time I would talk to him on the phone. If I had to stay away another week, they would have had to recast.

“And I’ll tell you right now, if I had to be recast, I’d have been in really bad shape,” he continued. “Because that guy could be better than me, he could be as good as me… you never know what’s gonna happen. I might have never come back. But thank you, Frank, and GH, for doing that.”

Once his wife and son returned from vacation, Benard opened up to them about what he was going through and said he wanted to go to a facility. But after just one day, he returned home and decided to go back to work. The pressure continued building and eventually, the dam burst.

“I went home and Paula and Joshua were standing right next to me,” he recalled. “Paula said, “What’s going on? Talk to me.” And I started going on a rant. Crying, yelling, “I’m not a good father! I’m not a good husband! I feel like a failure. And I don’t feel good. I feel horrible that I have to put you guys through this all the time.’ At the end of the rant, Joshua looked at me and he said, ‘Dad, that was a great monologue.’ And what happened after that, that was the beginning of me feeling better. Listen people, don’t hold anything in. If you have to cry from the depths, yell from the depths… you need to let go. Because that is a beast. Let that out.”

We’re glad Benard is feeling better because the idea of anyone else playing Sonny Corinthos is just inconceivable!